I can’t believe how quickly last week flew by! And next week is my last week of radiation – YES!! At my oncology center, they call it “Graduating” when you finish all the radiation treatments. It’s such a wonderful feeling!! As for finishing treatments all together, I’m not sure when I will find out if I’m doing more full-on chemotherapy or not, but it should be within the next few weeks after radiation is over.

My upcoming week is a little crazy. I have my last two internal radiation and my last 3 external radiation treatments. I also have a follow-up meeting with my fertility doctor who helped my husband and I become successful with IVF. We will be discussing how to move forward and our options for parenthood.

I have been secretly stressing about how my husband and I will come up with enough money to adopt and/or have our frozen embryos placed in a gestational carrier (like surrogacy). We would love to become parents in the next three to five years (as originally planned pre-cancer), but with our job incomes it seems impossible to come up with the large sums of money. We also dream of owning a home, traveling and pursuing our passions. Obviously we can’t do all of these things at once, but I feel discouarged that money has to stand in my way of motherhood and achieving our dreams. I always wanted to believe money wasn’t the “end-all be-all” or that it could buy happiness, but now I’m starting to think differently. I hope this is not the case.

I promised myself I would not think about work or money while going through treatment as it is TOO stressful, but it’s definitely in the back of my mind. When my husband noticed that something just wasn’t right with me the other day, he reminded me that talking about feelings is the healthiest way to deal with them. So we talked about it, which of course made me feel a little bit better, and we decided to start down grading some things in our life so we can start saving money now. We contacted our apartment manager and asked if there were any smaller and less expensive units available in our complex before our move out day, and there was! We are moving at the end of May. Yes, it’s nice having a large, cushy apartment – but I like having a baby better!! Hubby and I are starting a savings account dedicated just to babies, and we are thinking of all kinds of creative ways to save money. Penny-pinching will help us on our journey to become parents, but I’m not sure if it’s going to foot the huge bill if we want to be parents before we’re 40. I’m toying with the idea of fund-raising and donations in exchange for some kind of product (like cupcakes???). I feel a little weird with the idea of taking donations for just myself and my husband (versus giving to a charity for children in Africa), but people raise money for different things all the time. You just have to believe in the cause! We’ll see if we decide to move forward with this idea, but if anyone else can think of a way to come up with $25,000 cash for adoption or $50,000 for a gestational carrier – LET ME KNOW!!

Besides dreaming about parenthood, I am so excited to go back to work, too. This is the time of year when my company starts to get super busy with summer wedding and events, and I’m missing out! I miss being around people and being productive, so I am crossing my fingers that my doctor gives me the green light to go back to work soon. I’m looking forward to getting my creative juices going again.

Every day I get closer and closer to end! Thank you again to all of our family and friends for your consistent support, and as always, thanks for following my blog. Lots of love and hugs!

xoxo,

Kathy

Advertisements