It’s not uncommon for treatment plans to be adjusted and tweaked after the first week or two. This is actually a good thing, because it means that my team is paying attention to my specific case and not prescribing me a one-size-fits-all plan. For example, when I start chemotherapy last November (I can’t believe it’s been 5 months since my diagnosis!!) I was supposed to have six rounds to “deflate” the tumor. But I responded to chemo so well that we stopped after 3 rounds. When I first started radiation the plan was three rounds of chemo spread out over six weeks of radiation, and three weeks of external radiation and three weeks of mixed internal/external radiation. Well, I found out that the plan has changed!

I will now be receiving chemotherapy every week on Fridays for the remaining 4 weeks. Bummer. Chemo sucks. On the flip side, I will be only be receiving internal radiation during the last week of treatment instead of the last three weeks. I am SO relieved, because internal radiation is AWFUL! It’s so awful that I will be on morphine just to get through it. It’s so awful that when I asked my radiation tech what it was like, she gave me the saddest, most sympathetic look ever. So one week of this instead of three? YES PLEASE!! The chemo part still sucks. It may make me more tired and more nauseous.

So I will be spending the month of April going through chemotherapy and radiation. I usually associate April with daffodils, sunshine, Easter Sunday, and floral dresses, but this April is going to be different. It’s going to SUCK! My last week of treatment is the first week of May. But you know what? I’m going to get through the next 4 weeks like a champion. It’s not going to be easy or fun, but I would do it ten times over again if it meant killing this cancer.

As I come closer and closer to end of my journey, I can’t help but wonder – what will life be like after cancer?? It’s kind of life surviving a major natural disaster. Once the storm blows over, you have to walk into the sunlight, asses the damage … and start cleaning up. My husband and I have so much to talk about. We have to totally rebuild our life plan! Pre-cancer, part of our “plan” was to start trying to have children in five years after Alex has gone through all of his schooling and established a career. Now, to start a family, we have to cough up $25,000 cash to adopt or $50,000 to do surrogacy. I don’t think that fits within a five year plan. I need to rethink my own personal goals and career path, and figure out what is going to work best to this scenario. I promised myself I wouldn’t stress about this during treatments, so I’ll stop myself now. But I can’t help but think about it!

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