Day 2 of my Challenge is successful!! CHEER CHEER CHEER. Ok, got that out of the way, now …

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S ONLY BEEN 2 DAYS!!!!!!! What. The. Heck.

Not that going two days 100% on my meal and workout plans are impossible – for the most part I do OK – but it’s hard. I have the same feeling as when I start my 60 minute cardio on the treadmill and I’m dying after 2 minutes. I cry in my head, “WTF it’s only been TWO MINUTES and I feel like I am ready for a break!!” I have to stick it out for another 58 minutes.

I know that the beginning is always hard.  I think of that popular saying “The journey of a million miles starts with a single step” and I have been repeating that in my head all day (“asinglestepasinglestepasinglestep). Today was my 2nd step. And if anyone got their butt kicked like I did today on their second step then I don’t know if they would keep going lol!! Today’s workout with my trainer was H A R D, and it was a gentle (lol) reminder that I need to keep challenging myself all the time … No breaks! Surprising I got through it better than I thought I could. Another reminder that I am getting stronger all the time . 🙂  and that feels good!

My trainer wrote in her blog tonight about thinking about High School days and wanting to go back to that time with the knowledge she’s knows now. I feel the same way, and I am sure a lot of people do!!

Ok people, grab your hanky and a nap sack because it’s time to stroll down Memory Lane ….

I think my biggest regret from school was forcing myself to blend in with everyone else and to not be an individual. At my Bridal Shower last weekend my long-time girlfriend reminded me that the first time we met was in 6th Grade when I was making a person out my apple during lunch time. Oh yes, I remember like it was yesterday! I put in two hard candies for his eyes, and two straws on the sides of the apple for his arms. I thought it was the funniest thing EVER. I used to do silly things like that all the time in middle school, until I was teased badly for it and then I just shut down. And I shut up. I starting wearing the same clothes as all the other girls were wearing, I didn’t go out of my way to talk to kids in other groups, and I definitely did not talk to any boys! I didn’t dare do anything in front of the other kids that would attract any attention, good or bad. Instead I focused all my energy and creativity into my music, which has become one of the best things I have ever done. I did very well and had one of the best flute teachers in the state. I went on to play principal flutist in different youth orchestras, and in senior year of High School I placed in the Top 10 (#7) in the State Solo Competition – out like 200 other flutists! I was even offered a scholarship to U of O … haha not pursuing that is whole other regret for another blog post.

Sometimes I think “if only” I could go back and tell the younger Kathy how important it is to feel confident about yourself, to express your individuality and not care what the “popular kids” think (which beyond ridiculous to think right now); to tell her that those qualities will get you far in your life and to stay strong. But I have think that if it weren’t for my desperation to conform then maybe I wouldn’t have found my passion for music? If I had a busy, popular social life then maybe I would not have gotten into music at all? Would that even matter, and how would I known any better had I not had it???

Those are nice thoughts Kathy, but you are wasting your time! The real answer is – which I have known all along – the reason we can’t go back and go through High School again with the mind of the older and wiser version of ourselves is because WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO. Young people are supposed to feel awkward, lost and confused. They are supposed to be stupid and ignorant and dramatic and crazy immature. It cannot be avoided. Without making all the mistakes we made when were younger and going through those rough, emotional teen years we would not have had a reason to take the journey to find out who we are. And who we are are the amazing people we turned out to be!!

The journey will continue, but just think of our younger years as our first steps …. 😉

(Do get to say “younger years” if I am only 24????)

xoxo kathy

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